What a sick fuck

Have you seen Mike Huckabee remind us why he is a sad pathetic joke who should never try to tell one. Especially if he is going to attempt improv.



For those who can't watch video, Huckabee was addressing the NRA convention today when his address was interrupted by a loud noise. He tried to make a joke, saying "[T]hat was Barack Obama. He just tripped off a chair. He's getting ready to speak and somebody aimed a gun at him and he -- he dove for the floor."

What the fuck? That is the sort of thing that a kid would get expelled from school and sent to see a shrink for saying.

But it was a joke, you see.

Well, listen up, Huckleberry. Lemme asplain this and I am going to type r.e.a.l.l.y. s.l.o.w. so you can follow and I only have to say it once.

First of all, Huckster, stick with jokes that start "a Priest, a Rabbi and a duck walked into a bar..."

Second, no one is obligated to say "Oh, well, okay then. Never mind," and just let it slide every time some stupid mother fucker says some stupid, hateful, bigoted thing - in "joke" format.

The problem isn't now, and has never been, that the people who are offended need to get a sense of humor. The problem is that stupid, bigoted, hateful "jokes" are not funny. And any joke that implies an assassination attempt on a candidate that has received secret service protection since early in the primary season is so far from funny that words fail me.

And this is what the republicans have to offer. They can slander. They can imply cowardice and they can scream "appeaser!" That's it.

*******************

Okay. I understand that Huck has apologized.

To which I say "so?"

Let me put it this way - I have a four year old granddaughter. Even she understands that even the most heartfelt apologies are not get out of jail free cards.

So shut up and go away now. This is the sort of thing that should hound him off the public stage that he might molest decent people no more.

Definitely Not the Right Answer

Uh...the POINT of this post was to highlight how ridiculous it is to
listen to Chuck Norris advocate SHOOTING illegal immigrants. You, umm...got that didn't you?

Chuck Norris, noted for his grasp of public policy and his fascinating pants, weighs in on this whole illegal immigration thing...

Exacerbating the security crisis is the fact that there continues to be a shortage of both Border Patrol and other safety government officials. The Homeland Security Department is still trying to fill last year's 138 vacancies in high-level jobs – an employment crisis that it calls "a critical homeland security issue that demands immediate attention."

Another good reason to throw the incompetent Bush administration out on its ear. Unemployment is skyrocketing, but the US government can't find anyone who wants to work for it. We've shown you how many jobs in the Washington DC area alone are open and that pay more than a $100,000 a year--it's a disgrace.

Unfortunately, illegal transport of immigrants, terrorists and other contraband is only going to worsen, especially with the possible creation of a North American Union (with Canada and Mexico) and the so-called NAFTA Superhighways. Unless of course we stop it! (How is it that we can militarily overthrow a government like Iraq, yet we can't militarily keep illegalities from crossing our borders?) As Mike Huckabee still says, "If the government can't track illegals, then let's outsource the job to UPS or Fed-Ex."

You mean the "NAFTA Superhighway" that actually doesn't exist, except in the imagination of wingnuts everywhere? You mean the war where 20,000 irregular insurgents have a 140,000 man and woman army pinned down--how's that going, by the way? It's not a great analogy to use the fiasco of Iraq to show how good of a job we could do by militarizing our southern border. I seem to recall that the last time someone thought that was a good idea, some Marines shot an 18 year-old goat shepherd and the whole thing had to be discontinued. And you've gotta love the wingnut obsession with outsourcing. That job you thought you were going to retire from? Someone in India, Mexico or the Marianas Islands has it now, and they're working for pennies on the dollar.

If these solutions don't stop the tides of illegal flow in and out of our borders, a friend of mine has a Texas-tough alternative and answer to replace the government's virtual fence failure. In fact, he says, we don't need a security fence at all. All we need to do is to post signs and position manned trucks at key points, just like our government does at Area 51, the top secret military airfield in remote central Nevada, around which there are no fences or walls. There is never a breach or unwanted border crossing there, at least that we hear about! And why? Because the boundary sign reads and is never questioned, "Warning: Use of deadly force authorized."

The last refuge of a pussy is to shoot people when there's a problem. Nothing is solved from shooting people to get what you want. It's not going to stop immigration. It's going to cause a lot of unnecessary death and destruction. In short, you can spot the pussy in the crowd when he draws his gun before there's a need to draw a gun. Yes, Chuck Norris is just a big, uninformed pussy who can't think for himself and probably didn't even bother writing his own column. I think he's trying to revitalize his reinforced crotch pants:



Stick with the cheesy products, Chuck.

Obama Runs the Table; Huckabee Snookers McCain

Barack Obama showed the world - and more than a few doubters - today that his MO ain't faux by making a clean sweep of the nominating contest in three states - Louisiana, Nebraska and Washington - and in all three he won by wide, decisive margins. In Nebraska and Washington, he won by a 2-to-1 margin over Senator Clinton, and in Louisiana, with 2/3 of precincts reporting and the vote still being tallied, he was leading 53% to 39%, and projected to win. Every state saw Democrats turning out in numbers that were roughly double the 2004 turnout.

"Today, voters from the West Coast to the Gulf Coast to the heart of America stood up to say 'yes we can'" told a cheering crowd of Democrats at the Jefferson-Jackson dinner in Richmond, Va. "The stakes are too high and the challenges are too great to play the same old Washington game with the same old Washington players and expect a different result," he told the crowd of loyal Democrats. "People want to turn the page. They want to write a new chapter in American history."

With 158 delegates at stake, and Obama winning so decisively, he certainly narrowed the delegate gap. Going into todays contests, Obama narrowed the lead held by Hillary to a less-than-100 spread, going into a week where he enjoys strong support in states that go to the polls over the next few days. Maine will hold caucuses on Sunday, with 24 Democratic delegates at stake. Tuesday, it's the Potomac Primary, with Washington D.C., Maryland and Virginia holding primaries. It is conceivable that Obama, with decisive victories in two or more of those states on Tuesday, could pull even in the delegate count.

On the Republican side, McCain was bitch-slapped by Kansans who went for Huckabee by a humiliating 60% to 24%. Here is what I want to see in Kansas: The county numbers. I want to see how Leavenworth, Geary, Riley and Sedgewick counties voted, and how overall Democratic votes stack up against overall Republican numbers. Those are the four counties that are home to the states three major military installations - Forts Leavenworth and Riley, and McConnell Air Force Base. In 2006 the military vote in the KS-02 (both of the Army Forts are in the 02) didn't turn out for the incumbent conservative Republican, former Olympian Jim Ryun, and the district is now represented by Democrat Nancy Boyda. I keep telling anyone who will listen that the service personnel most likely to vote are the ones most likely to have families - and when they have kids in school, they vote local, not absentee back home.

If Huckabee beat McCain in those counties, he has to reassess his level of support among military personnel. I don't think it is half as strong as he has tried to portray it to the media and the masses, but the numbers will tell the tale.

McCain had a rough day - just two days after he managed to muscle aside Mitt and his millions, he was humiliated in Kansas and it was followed up with additional repudiations in Louisiana and Washington, with Huckabee leading in both states.

I find the psychology of Huckabee and his voters fascinating. There is no way he can win the nomination. He trails by more than 500 delegates and he has been, for all intents and purposes, mathematically eliminated. Yet he forges on, and his supporters continue to vote in droves, and probably in defiance, of the McCain candidacy. Conservatives really, really hate him. Couple that vehement hatred with the uncomfortable feeling that it's 1996 all over again, this time with a bad candidate.

Wasn't there something I was supposed to blog about today?

Oh yeah - I remember now.

There's a Republican primary election in South Carolina and both parties held their caucus in Nevada today.


Nevada first...With 88% of precincts reporting, Hillary Clinton was declared the winner with 51% to Obama's 45%. Edwards garnered 4%, and should probably think about withdrawing with his chances for a cabinet position - and his dignity - intact.

On the Republican side, Romney took it standing up, with 53%. Ron Paul and John McCain were tied for second with 13% each.

I guess the Nervous Nellies among Hillary supporters were a bit over-the-top. For the record, they totally took the wrong tack. They should have approached it from the position of "then you have to hold caucuses in hospitals, too." What judge would want to be seen as the guy who upheld a showgirls right to caucus, but nurses can go hang? It was a no-brainer. Apparently. Some no-brain out there fucked that up from Jump Street.

Okay - South Carolina - that's a Republicans-only primary election, and polls won't close for a couple of hours, but Politico.com has a pretty good summation:

Saturday's most crucial showdown was on the other side of the country, in South Carolina, where the Republican contenders try to wrest advantage from each other — after three different candidates won the first three major contests.

Most polls have shown McCain leading Huckabee, trailed by Romney and former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson.

The stakes for the entire GOP field are high if history is a guide — every Republican nominee since Ronald Reagan has won South Carolina.

And the weather is absolutely miserable. Can you believe it's snowing in parts of South Carolina?

Well it is.

In the part of the state where Mike Huckabee's support is strongest.

Wonder what God's own Candidate is thinking right now?

UPDATE - PALE RIDER

God's own candidate, Mitt Romney, did well out in Las Vegas. I've seen some coverage writing it off, basically saying that an overwhelming Mormon vote is the reason for his win in Nevada.

Ron Paul polling at 13% and possibly beating McCain is huge--as is the fact that Ron Paul has a larger constituency within the Republican Party than that of Rudy Guiliani. I'm reminded of Ron Paul explaining why we were attacked on 9/11 and Rudy "not getting it" and trying to belittle Ron Paul for his ideas. As nuts as he is, Ron Paul gets it right on the war and that's gotta be troubling for the overtly pro-war candidates on either side of the aisle.

UPDATE II - PALE RIDER 7:45 PM- Eastern

Tucker Carlson is trying to fan the flames of a Hispanic vs Black split in the Democratic Party. As if. We don't even have a nominee yet. We don't have anywhere near enough information to make that assessment. We have yet to see a large, populous and diverse state vote yet. And the Republican shill machine is desperate.

Tucker--talk about Ron Paul beating main stream Republicans with 50 times the name recognition and then ask us about a split among Democrats. The split is on the Republican side, clearly, because they are seeing candidates who have spent millions go down in flames.

The MSNBC coverage is dominated by Olbermann and Russert. Matthews is the third wheel along for the Prom date, and no one wants to give him liquor because he'll get caught and everyone will get busted by the Gym teacher. This makes for stilted coverage. CNN is unwatchable. They have Bill Bennett in there and all I want to do is ask "did that lardass play the one-armed bandit all day?"

UPDATE III - Blue Girl

Lets look at the Nevada numbers:

Women were a strong majority for the Democrats in Nevada. 59% of Democrats attending the caucus were female, to 41% male.

On the Republican side, the numbers are closer, but males are a solid majority - 52% to 48%.

But more telling than the gender demographics are the age demographics.

Republicans

60-up_________45%
45-59_________27%
30-44_________17%
18-29_________11%

Democrats

60-up_________36%
45-59_________32%
30-44_________19%
18-29_________13%

The numbers tell this well-versed-in-stats political consumer that the Republican party is entering the twilight years, along with it's stalwarts. It is sooooo yesterday. People who want to move forward are throwing their lot in with the Democrats, and the demographics on the Democratic side are much more stable and desirable. If you read these numbers as if they were in the respective prospectus of companies competing for your investment dollars, where would you invest your money?

UPDATE IV - PALE RIDER

Yes--the voters are turned off by the Republicans, they are identifying themselves as Democrats, and the Republicans can't raise money. It's shocking to see how broke some of them are--Guiliani and McCain are literally broke and running on fumes on a day to day basis. Romney is using his own money and Huckabee isn't spending any money. The only who has a legitimate fundraising machine is Ron Paul and he's not going to piss that money away. In 1999, George W Bush was raising millions and was building a massive war chest with which to run. There is no comparison this year. They are all running on fumes.

How about a shout out to Howard Dean? The Fifty State strategy means we are going to compete with Republicans everywhere, and we will make them play a full-court game. As their "brand" continues to sink, we will make gains in places the Washington DC establishment would have written off four years ago.

UPDATE V - PALE RIDER - 09:07PM East

Chris Matthews "John McCain-his enemy is al Qaeda.""Mitt Romney-his enemy is Washington."

[so we're going to send a snarling old man after al Qaeda? Will he have bandoliers of ammo and a grenade pinned to his lapel? I hardly doubt al Qaeda is concerned about John McCain. In fact, they must be salivating at the idea that a deranged old coot keeps trying to threaten them. It's gotta help with recruiting.]

something, something, Huckabee, something Sodom and Gomorrah.
"The Road to St. Paul" and all of it's [catholic] Biblical overtones.
John McCain is a "live and let live guy"

Why doesn't Matthews just admit that he would carry McCain to the gates of Hell just to be seen holding a man he loves, in that platonic sort of way.

Schuster is at Huckabee headquarters and he looks like he just drank a quart of vinegar.

Brian Williams is commenting on the Big Dog's temper. Hello, dumbass--how about McCain's temper and McCain's snarling personality? Compared to Bill, McCain is easily the bigger hothead.

Russert--this is between Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Whatever, dude. You don't have a clue, either.

Astronomy, not Astrology

When I see Mike Huckabee talk about "needing to bring the Constitution in line with the word of the living God" and other such nonsense, I'm reminded of how Nancy Reagan used to bring an astrologer into the White House to determine when the President of the United States of America would be allowed to, I dunno, give speeches and sign things. I'm connecting the two of them because it always floors me that there isn't an abundance of ridicule and outrage directed at people who seem to have ridiculous ideas. Tolerance is fine, but sometimes too much tolerance means you have, well, people doing crazy shit on the public dime. Nancy might have her reasons for having done so, and Huckabee might be running for the highest office in a country where he simply doesn't understand the rule of law or how we govern ourselves. My question is--can we afford to have that in the future? Can we afford to let the misguided superstitions of people become legitimate ideas for debate and discussion? Can you let things like this actually go without mocking them for what they are?

Have you ever had to explain to people that "astronomy" is a science and that "astrology" is inane, utter bullshit practiced by the insane and the deranged?

Sometimes, you have to break it down for people.

This is an image of the planet Mercury, and it includes some features that have never been seen by human eyes until now. This is astronomy, and this is science:



This is astrology, and never the two shall meet:



[a tip o' the hat to Bad Astronomy for the juxtaposition of these things...]

Because Taking Away Rights is What They're All About

Update--From ThinkProgress.org

Huckabee flip-flops on birthright citizenship. Yesterday, the Washington Times reported that former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee would “amend the Constitution to prevent children born in the U.S. to illegal aliens from automatically becoming American citizen.” The paper relied on Minutemen founder James Gilchrist for it’s scoop, but Huckabee disputed the claim, saying he had “no intention” of denying the right of “birthright citizenship.” But the Times reports today that Huckabee told it in August that he “would support changing” birthright citizenship:

But he previously had taken a position in an interview with The Times on his campaign bus in Iowa in August.

“I would support changing that. I think there is reason to revisit that, just because a person, through sheer chance of geography, happened to be physically here at the point of birth, doesn’t necessarily constitute citizenship,” he said at the time, according to the audiotape of the interview. “I think that’s a very reasonable thing to do, to revisit that.”

Birthright citizenship is explicitly laid out in the 14th amendment, which begins, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States.”


The Moonie Times has a little blurb about what Mike Huckabee is willing to say in order to get elected:

Mike Huckabee wants to amend the Constitution to prevent children born in the U.S. to illegal aliens from automatically becoming American citizens, according to his top immigration surrogate — a radical step no other major presidential candidate has embraced.
Mr. Huckabee, who won last week's Republican Iowa caucuses, promised Minuteman Project founder James Gilchrist that he would force a test case to the Supreme Court to challenge birthright citizenship, and would push Congress to pass a 28th Amendment to the Constitution to remove any doubt.

Brilliant! Every time a Republican runs for office, they do so by claiming that they want to "amend" the Constitution to take away rights from the American people. This is a brilliant strategy, one that should guarantee a generation of Republicans at least 33% of the total vote in future elections.

Just some background on the people who are supporting Huckabee--the Minutemen--their website has interesting articles like this one, by a "protected" writer:

-------------------
Citizens Being Silenced - Illegal Aliens Trying To Sew Our Months Shut!
Saturday, December 22, 2007 - Silenced Writer

From: deleted to protect writer
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2007 4:26 PM
Subject: illegal immigrant harassment
Dear Minuteman Project:



I am a [housewife and concerned neighbor] who just moved to the Glendale, Arizona area and moved into my apartment without the opportunity of checking the area out first.

My next door neighbors consist of what appears to be at least 12 non-English speaking Mexican nationals [witches? Magical Spell Casting Fairies?] living in a small 2 bedroom apartment. Some drive inconsistent vehicles and there is a constant flow of traffic all day. They all appear to either stay home all day or leave in shifts or constantly go in and out the door to the front of their patio all evening long. Sometimes there are up to 8 cars parked for that one apartment. They seem to change up vehicles sometimes. [Is this magic?]

Even though I have never said anything to them, especially when they play super loud Mexican fiesta music, they constantly harass me by throwing trash in my yard, knocking on my door all times of the night, slamming doors, shocking me with floor thumping when I try to sleep. This happens on a daily basis. [Plus, I can't get any vacuuming done.]

I live alone and do not have family nearby. [My husband always claims I'm seeing things! Bah!] I have never done anything to them. I have always been against illegal immigration and now I know why. The latest wave of immigrants is trying to take over and claim this country as their territory. They are ignorant, rude, and jealous of Americans who are legal. They are not interested in assimilation like the older wave of immigrants who just wanted to work hard and try to make it.

I just wanted to know if you or someone associated with your organization could share some advice for me. [I am desperately in need of someone to pay attention to me]

Even though they stare at me and act as though they dare me to come out when they do something, I do not know if the police would be able to stop them from terrorizing me unless they physically assault me, which I would like to prevent because I am afraid of that.

If someone can help me, refer me or give me advice, I would be forever grateful, At the end of my rope! [I can't watch them as much as I would like, what with my blackouts.]

My lease will be up in the near future and I am moving, but don't know what to do until then as they are causing me unwarranted aggravation and discomfort every single day. It's bad enough that I can't be with my family at Christmas but instead with this.

XX [Mrs Kravitz],
Glendale, Arizona
-------------------

You know, if Mike Huckabee wants to permanently link the Republican Party to this freak show, I'm all for it.

Can we all take a deep breath please?

The nomination was not decided last night.

Nobody got crowned, or ordained, or even anointed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled at the turnout, I'm thrilled at the outcome, and I'm especially thrilled at the number of young people who participated...but it was one (small) state out of 50, and one that is not all that representative of the rest of the country.

The reality is, this thing isn't over yet - not by a long shot.

It might be over a month from now, after we go to the polls on Super Tuesday, when 24 states - including New York, California and Illinois - the Big Three - will hold primary elections or caucuses. But everyone who knows how this game is played knows that in politics, a month can be a reeeeaaalllly loooonnnngggg time.

(Blue states on the above map indicate Democratic-only caucuses,
Red means Republican-only state nominating conventions,
and Purple denotes states holding primary elections for both parties.)

A month provides a lot of opportunities for candidates to misspeak or slip up or be misconstrued by the cocktail-weenie wagging poison pens of the M$M - quite often intentionally (and I'm looking hard at you, Maureen "Harping Harridan" Dowd, you miserable twit. I would think that aWol would have given you a Medal of Freedom by now for taking down Al Gore for him. Proud of yourself, and your blood-stained hands, bitch? I know 3,908 families that would like to be able to put your feckless ass in the grave and have their son, daughter, husband, brother, sister or wife on this side of the sod.)

All I'm saying is your Grandma was right - you don't count your chickens before they are hatched, and don't count anyone out yet. The long knives are already unsheathed for Huckabee, and they will be for Obama, too - but those wielding them will be more subtle about it. The only safe group to single out for derisive vitriol these days are white, southern, evangelical, men who don't even have real college degrees. It helps when they don't believe in evolution. There is some mockable, derision-worthy willful-ignorance (spake the scientist).

Those going after the Huckster don't even have to pretend to be subtle. But Barack Obama is a different story, being the first black man with a real shot. What a difference a few decades makes! Fair or not, anyone attacking him outside very narrow and specific parameters will be subject to charges that their attacks are racially motivated, and the knives will turn on the wielders. We've come a long way, but we haven't come that far. An Obama presidency would get us a lot closer, but we aren't there yet.

The reality is, in a nation of 300 Million people, less than 300 thousand have weighed in, so take a deep breath, calm the hell down, and get your head back in the game.

They swung the sledge last night in Iowa with enough power to ring the bell - but it wasn't the closing bell, it was the opener.

The Implosion of the Republican Party

Dammit, man! Can't you see that dog is hurt and can't run?

That's not why I called you all here today. I saw this on the Daily Kos this morning--it's from conservative money man Richard Viguerie:

Mike Huckabee's victory in the Iowa caucuses is bad news for the Republican Party.

"Mike Huckabee is a Christian socialist. He is a good man, but with a Big Government heart. He is the most liberal of all the Republican presidential candidates on economic issues.

"Huckabee's approach to every problem or perceived problem is to pass a law and launch another government program. If you like President George W. Bush, you'll love Mike Huckabee.

[snip]

"Now Huckabee wants to go back to a two-legged stool—social issues and defense. He would saw off the economic leg. That's a recipe for disaster for the Republican Party. Economic and traditional conservatives would stay home in droves, turning the country over to the Democrats.

Wow!

That's what they're saying about the winner of the Republican Iowa Caucus? That's what they're going to do to Huckabee? Unbelievable. "Traditional" conservatives are who, exactly? I thought they were the God squad crowd, and that crowd put Huckabee over the top last night. That crowd stood up and said no to a multi-million dollar effort by Mitt Romney--and they did so entirely because of the issue of religion. There is no other explanation for it. Romney outspent Huckabee at astronomical levels and poured his heart, his soul and his family into Iowa. And they took one look at his faith and turned the cold, cold cheek of rejection towards him. Somewhere, Jesus is weeping at the thought that his Republican brothers could have such hard hearts. Boo hoo, my friends. Boo hoo.

I am an enthusiastic Huckabee supporter. I really, really, really want him to win the Republican nomination. He is the best hope for electing a Democrat this year. In fact, Republicans will stay away in droves if he is their candidate--a redux of 1996 and the disaster that was Dole-Kemp.

Now, don't get me wrong--Vice President Chuck Norris would be a kickass improvement. Chuck would personally go to Iran and kill everyone, probably within the confines of a 1 hour show. Chuck still has some touch up work to do in the Nam, you know. Plus, no matter what anyone says, that's a beard that could be Presidential, if need be.

Did you know there are literally thousands of bad pictures of Mike Huckabee out there? I simply did not know that...

Watch out, Huck--THIS is How They Get You

I had to take a screen shot and save this and put it up:



With all of the stock photos of Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee out there, THIS was the photo MSNBC.Com ran on their website at around 9:20PM Eastern Time. I took a screenshot of it, didn't color balance it, just wiped some of the marginal stuff out and tried to focus on the detail on his face and the headline. There is no intentional distorting of the image, and I don't use Photoshop.

What you might see if you look closely is a Nixonian look to Huckabee--he has the five o'clock shadow of Dick Nixon and he is prominently displaying his lopsided, almost snaggletoothed smile. His cheeks are washed either with makeup or something along the lines of bad clown rouge.It's Not A Flattering Photo, is what I'm saying.

And do you think that's an accident? The people who live in the rich village of Washington DC don't want Huck to win anything other than a one-way ticket for him, his bass, and Chuck Norris back to Hicksville.

When you see pictures like this, you have to call out the friggin' media on them.

Will 2008 be the Year of the Populist?

Perhaps.

How else to explain the insurgent popularity of Mike Huckabee?

There is always a populist somewhere in the Democratic field, at least early on. John Edwards has tapped into a vein of traditional Democratic working-class and man-of-the-people appeals; and as the message seems to be catching on this election cycle, other Democratic candidates are scurrying to don the populist cloth. Even Hillary. "The wealthy and the well-connected have had a president for seven years," she told a crowd in Ottumwa last night. "Meanwhile, most Americans have seen their incomes stall."

But I honestly don't think I can place a single Republican populist in the Republican field, ever. I have certainly never seen one with the support Huckabee is currently enjoying.

The Huckabee campaign presents a real opportunity for head-scratching on the part of the bought-and-paid-for corporatists of the Republican Party, which has traditionally been business friendly at the expense of all other interests.

None of the other Republicans candidates have taken up the charge. In fact, Frederick of Hollywood stuck to the script (there's a writer's strike on, you know) and continued to insist that "[N]ot enough has been done to tell what some call the greatest story never told, and that is that we are enjoying a period of growth right now."

It doesn't hurt the populist message any that oil hit a hundred bucks a barrel the day before Iowans caucus. John Edwards immediately seized on the price of oil and incorporated it into his campaign message the day before the first votes are cast. "Today's report that the price of oil has reached $100 a barrel is just another example of how corporate greed is squeezing the middle class," said Mr. Edwards, a former North Carolina senator, in a statement. At a packed coffeehouse in downtown Iowa City yesterday, he asked the crowd, "Are you going to let corporate greed steal your children's future?"

That message can't help but hit home in a state where towns are far-flung, and farms dot the landscape. And every one of those farms has at least a couple of 250-gallon tanks (one for gas, one for diesel) that have to be filled up regularly, and there is no buy-in-bulk discount. (Those Massey-Fergusson and John Deere tractors and combines that plant and harvest a lot of the food you buy at Albertson's and Safeway get fueled up at home, not in town at the gas station.)

Huckabee frequently cites escalating fuel prices as a major concern for voters, and even goes so far as to contrast CEO pay with stagnating wages. On New Years Day he told an audience that "A president needs to understand that what's good for the American economy needs to be good for all Americans."

He also contrasts his own humble roots with the privileged life of his chief rival here in Iowa, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. "If politics is going to end up being nothing more than about who has the most money, then we've not had a presidency, we've had a plutocracy, and we might as well put it on eBay and sell it to the highest bidder," he said yesterday in Mason City.

Huckabee might be getting grief from that embarrassing gasbag Limbaugh and his slavering minions of the so-called "right" - but his message is resonating with people who are more concerned about paying for their next tank of $3 per gallon gasoline than whether they ditched their illegal viagra before they attempted to clear customs after their latest Dominican fleshpot cruise.

One of the pillars of Huckabee's economic plan is a "fair tax" - a national sales tax that would replace the income tax (this is anathema to business interests, which guard their favorite loopholes in the tax code as jealously as a Texas high-school cheerleaders mother). Conservatives and liberals alike denounce the notion as dangerous, because it would have to be much higher than what Mr. Huckabee has proposed in order to raise enough revenue to keep the country running. Critics also charge that the "fair tax" Huckabee proposes would hit the very working-class people he aims to help the hardest.

But that doesn't stop it from resonating. It hit home with 22-year-old Jason Downs, a University of Iowa student who recently went to a Huckabee rally. "Right now the middle class is paying more taxes, the upper class has abilities to get accountants and move funds around and all that. Where if you have a consumption tax, it's going to be a fair amount," said Mr. Downs.

John Edwards, who never left Iowa after the 2004 election, has been priming the populist pump in Iowa ever since. And with energy prices so high, and healthcare so tenuous (farmers are self employed and have to buy their own health coverage, unless a spouse works "in town" and likely only took the job in the first place in order to get insurance. And still the premiums and copays keep going up.)

Whatever happens tonight in Iowa, and next week in New Hampshire, the economic message of populism is going to influence the rest of the campaign.

And while I am not a populist (insert joke about city dwellers and public transportation here) I welcome the message. For too long corporate interests have run roughshod over the interests of ordinary people, to the point that it now represents a serious threat to our liberty. So I welcome anything that might reverse that trend.

The Lawless Insanity of Mike Huckabee

Some snark always works when you're out of ideas, and besides--why attack a Democrat when attacking a Republican is so much more fun and appropriate?

From the campaign trail in Iowa:

On the Republican side, two former governors, Mike Huckabee of Arkansas and Mitt Romney of Massachusetts, are vying to finish first in Iowa.

Amid murmurs of "Amen!" at a pizza parlor in Sergeant Bluff, Huckabee urged hundreds: "Don't go alone. Take people with you. Fill up your car. Rent a van. Hijack your church's bus, whatever you've got to do to get people to the caucus who are going to vote for me."

Yes, that's candidate Mike Huckabee, encouraging supporters to HIJACK the buses used by their church in order to support him.

Hijack? Did a candidate actually say that? In a day and age when, if you or I said something like that in line to get on a plane, we'd be tasered and thrown in the back of a van and sent to the county jail?

Irregardless, that little snippet of frantic campaigning stood out to me. A candidate should clearly not be telling people to commit felony vehicle theft and commit a serious act of felony mischief and "hijack" a church bus. There's a word for all of this. It's called "judgement." And, clearly, that sumbitch doesn't have any "judgement."

Case in point, his hiring of Ed Rollins:

Rollins says it had been his idea to show the ad [the controversial attack ad that Huckabee pulled, only to show it to reporters and "hope" they would rebroadcast it for free]to reporters, the logic being that it was already in the hands of television stations. As for the gathering, Rollins says, "Now would I have loved to cancel the press conference? You betcha. Would I have loved to pull the signs down? Yes. But this decision was made about 11, 11:10 in the morning." The news conference was scheduled for noon.

Riding in the elevator afterward, Rollins says, he told Huckabee, " 'Governor, this is what it means to be president. The president gets lots of advice and makes a lot of tough decisions . . . But you made the decision.' "

"I admire the fact he's trying to change the environment," Rollins says. "What I have to do is make sure that my anger with a guy like Romney, whose teeth I want to knock out, doesn't get in the way of my thought process."

Felonies, felonies, felonies. That's what you'll get when you pick someone like Huckabee.

Why is everyone surprised at Huckabee's latest parry?

He is just doing what huckster bible-bleaters have always done.

They are masters at getting someone else to do the dirty work.

That negative add he is 'above running' is out there now, and it is getting barrels of ink and billions and billions of electrons.

Standing before a banner reading "Enough is Enough" and flanked by five large charts attacking the record of rival Mitt Romney, a haggard-looking Huckabee said that the fight to win Thursday's Republican caucus had gotten "out of hand" and "out of control" and that he would refrain from any more negative campaigning.

Huckabee's unorthodox media event comes as a barrage of new polls has battered his lead in Iowa and put his campaign at risk of crash-and-burn. Some of those surveys now show Romney regaining a lead he had maintained over most of the year until Huckabee began to surge ahead in recent weeks.

"Conventional political wisdom is that you must counter-punch," the former Arkansas governor said. "When you get hit you should hit back. And every bit of advice I have been given says that is exactly what we should do." Huckabee explained that he, indeed, prepared and produced a TV spot attacking Romney, sent it to local TV stations but had just given the directive to pull it from airing. "This morning I ordered them to hold the ads," Huckabee said. "From now we will run only ads that say why I should be president not why Mitt Romney shouldn't be president."

Then, amid loud gasps and laughter from the more than 150 reporters on hand, Huckabee announced he would show the assembled press the same ad. As dozens of TV cameras whirred, and after two false starts, the 30-second spot assaulting Romney's record was shown in full. The tag line of the spot ended with the narrator saying of Romney: "If a man's dishonest trying to get the job, he'll be dishonest on the job"

Of course, the room exploded at the seeming inconsistency, because the reporters just don't get Southern evangelicals. I've been a visiting outsider in their land, and this is right in keeping with what I would expect.

The man isn't educated, but he ain't stupid. He's the kind of preacher that figured out a long time ago that if he could string some words together that would make people who actually own pitchforks and hunting rifles willing to accept their limited lot in life while giving him ten percent, the lid can be kept on a while longer and he can live a good life without ever doing an honest days work.

And now, the M$M is spreading his negative ad for free.

Y'all have been had.

Maybe I should run for president?

I mean, I don't have any foreign policy credentials either (unless you count a couple of brushes with foreign law enforcement back when I was a Brat and reasonable people had a sense of humor about joints and Jagermeister - you remember - back when most adults realized teenagers are, to a one, pretty much all just hormone-drenched idiots).

But at least I can read a fucking map!

How the hell is Mike Huckabee getting any serious support at all? The fuckers a joke. (Back when I was getting shipped to the G-rents for the summer, and wanking around in the northern tier counties of Missouri, the other teenaged idiots used to say Iowa was an acronym for Idiots Out Wandering Aimlessly. I kinda winced - I also got sent to my Aunts house in the Quad Cities for part of most summers, too, so I kinda took it personally. You know - for my cousin's sake.)

But seriously! Are there that many end-timers up there that think we need to cut to the chase and get Armageddon underway already, cuz they are ready for the rapture? Enough that this clown is leading in the polls? (Here's a clue, you uptight fucking morons. Have an orgasm. That's rapture.)

Here is Mike Huckabee's latest gaffe. I don't know where this idiot went to high school, but where I went to school, if I made a blunder like this, my high school history and geography teacher would get up out of her grave and come to my house, thirty years later - and give me detention and extra work.

He is one of those people that can't find a place on a map. He thinks that Pakistan shares and eastern border with Afghanistan. (Ask any seventh grader in a decent school: It's India.)

People who questioned my view of foreign policy probably need go back and read the speech that I delivered back in Washington in September. … What we’ve seen happen is that in the Musharraf government, he has told us that he really does not have enough control of those eastern borders near Afghanistan to be able go after the terrorists. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want us going in because it violates his sovereignty.

He also, immediately after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan yesterday, played the fear card before her body was cool for his fundamentalist, Christianist, American-Taliban base.

"In light of what happened in Pakistan yesterday, it's interesting that there are more Pakistanis who have illegally crossed the border than of any other nationality except for those immediately south of our border," Huckabee said Friday.

Americans might "look halfway around the world and say, 'How does that affect me?' ... We need to understand that violence and terror is significant when it happens in Pakistan, [and] it's more significant if it can happen in our own cities. And it happens if people can slip across our border and we have no control over them."

"The immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, it's about people who could come with a shoulder-fired missile and could do serious damage and harm to us," Huckabee said, "and that's what we need to be worried about." (emphasis added)

Senator Iselin Governor Huckabee boldly asserted that he had in his hand a list of 207/104/275 communists employed by the Defense Department 660 Pakistanis entered the United States illegally last year!

Border Patrol says maybe a handful.

(I wish someone would ask him what he thinks about stepping up the effort to keep tabs on Saudi immigrants. After all, the Kingdom supplied 15 of the 19 9/11 hijackers. You remember - the folks who actually attacked us? And who funded all those madrassas in Afghanistan, that produced all those terrorists and Taliban?)

But who ya gonna trust? The professionals who actually, you know, know what the fuck is going on, or a Huckster bible-bleater?

When pinned down about the gaffes later, a Huckabee aid finally just said outright that the Governor is a foreign policy moron, and he had been instructed to steer the issue to immigration when foreign policy came up, because he is totally out of his depth and says stupid shit like Pakistan is west of Afghanistan. (I paraphrase, but I don't really exaggerate.)

The fact that he is polling so well scares the hell out of me. I can live with the occasional wacko end-timer, so long as they have no power or influence and aren't a threat to others (but to themselves? I really could not care less.) But we can't have one of these magical-thinking, superstition believers that close to the levers.

That so many people don't seem to get this, or worse - don't care because he loves Jesus too! - is fucking appalling.

Huckabee, Huckabee, Huckabee

Here's an example of how not to view what happened today, courtesy of the former governor of Arkansas:

From CBS News' Nancy Cordes:

ORLANDO, FLA. -- With about 150 supporters crowded around a podium set up on the tarmac of Orlando Executive airport (and about 20 Ron Paul supporters waving signs outside) Mike Huckabee strode out to the strains of “Right Now” by Van Halen and immediately addressed the Bhutto situation, expressing “our sincere concern and apologies for what has happened in Pakistan.”

He said the assassination is a reminder that here in the US, we are lucky to vote “not with bullets but with ballots,” and said “I guess we are sometimes lulled into failing to appreciate the magnitude” of the democratic process.

After moving onto other subjects in his rally (more on that in a moment) he took questions from the press. I asked him what he would do right now if he were President to tackle the situation. He avoided taking a strong policy position, saying he would offer sincere sympathies to the people of Pakistan, and monitor who’s behind it. When asked what he thinks of the Musharraf government and how it has handled the security situation and aid from the US, he replied, “I think today is not the best day to comment on what the Musharraf government should or shouldn’t have done” though “we need a full accounting of that money.” He was also asked if today’s news highlights why the next President needs to have foreign policy, which he lacks. His reponse: “I think it’s more important to have the right principles for the American people.”

He made a bad choice of words when saying the U.S. needs to consider “what impact does it have on whether or not there’s going to be martial law continuing in Pakistan.” He should have said whether or not martial law will be reinstated – it was lifted nearly two weeks ago. A minor slip, maybe, but not a subject he wants to mess up on when he is already considered weak in the area of foreign policy.

While it is odd to read someone's "suggestion" for what Huckabee should have said, all you can do is wince and try not to think about what an election eight years from now would be like, given the continuing downward spiral of media coverage in this country.

Van Halen? Sammy Hagar-era Van Halen is his theme song? What the fuck?

The Huckabee Meltdown: Part II

You don't have to look very hard to find people in northwest Missouri who feel like Mike Huckabee is guilty of felony murder.

That is because he was the guy who made sure that the monster who raped a distant relative of Bill Clinton was released from prison - and let no one tell you differently - that fucker was released for one reason - to stick it to Clinton.

Well, Clinton didn't pay the price for the fecklessness of the Arkansas GOP and their all-too-easy-to-manipulate, slow-witted governor Mike Huckabee.

Instead, Sara Andrasek and Carol Shields paid that price.

With their lives.

They were murdered by the paroled rapist.

In 1984, Dumond was convicted of raping a 17-year-old cheerleader, who happened to be a second cousin, once removed, to Bill Clinton. If not for the family connection between the victim and Bill Clinton, Dumond would have rotted in an Arkansas prison and died, unknown and unmourned. That would have been justice.

Instead, the Arkansas GOP went into full-froth mode...Dumond was innocent! He was railroaded by that bastard Clinton! He must be freed!

Bullshit. He was a predator and a rapist and a murderer. That mattered not a whit. (Besides, his victim was just some little strumpet related to Clinton - she probably liked it!)

The Arkansas GOP is, in essence, sucking hind-tit to the freakin' mafia where ethics are concerned. At least the mafia respects the families!

And now, the Huckster is triangulating.

The Huckster pressured the parole board behind closed doors, and they granted the murdering monster parole - without Huck having to affix his signature to the release. When the victim pleaded with Huckabee to keep the man in prison, he dismissed her, telling her that he believed that the man was reformed and repentant, and would pose no future threat. (Haven't we heard that "looked into his soul" line of crap before?)

I do not believe for one second that anyone in Arkansas thought the bastard was reformed.

If they truly believed he was reformed, why was one of the conditions of his parole that he had to leave Arkansas???

While he was in prison in Arkansas, some desperate, unloved, sad and pathetic man-hungry idiot Christianist trollop married him. (I have never understood those stupid, stupid disgraces to my gender, and I never will.) So anyway - this idiot bitch lived in the KC metro, and that fucking monster came here to live with her. And within a year, he was murdering women.

One of the women he murdered grew up in Eagleville, MO - a town of about 400 on I-35, just a few miles south of the Iowa line. Eagleville is about 12 miles from the town my grandparents and in-laws called home.

You say "Mike Huckabee" within 50 miles of Eagleville, and you see pure hatred flash in the eyes of the locals. You hear him called names like "mother-fucker" "moron" and, most appropriately, "murderer."

When Super Tuesday rolls around, that bastard will not do well in this state - if he hasn't imploded and withdrawn by then.

Here's hoping...

The Huckabee Meltdown: Part I

The Casper Milquetoast of the Republican horserace is having the Baptist-preacher version of a week rather like Rudy!™ had last week. It's looking more and more like Mike Huckabee may have peaked exactly one month too soon. He apparently reached his apex on Sunday, when a Des Moines Register poll put him in the lead in Iowa and another poll put him in second place nationally.

First, he totally blew it on the NIE, and showed the world that not only does he not know anything - he is so clueless he doesn't even suspect anything.

When asked Tuesday about the latest intelligence estimate on Iran (released Monday! It was in all the papers!) he was totally ignorant. Hadn't even heard of the NIE, and it sure sounded to me like he doesn't even know what an NIE even is. (An NIE is an aggregate analysis that pulls together the information collected by all 16 intelligence agencies. Serious presidential candidates should know this, or bow out.)

Lemme put it this way - one of my grandmothers died in 1996, and she knows about this NIE.

David Paul Kuhn: I don’t know to what extent you have been briefed or been able to take a look at the NIE report that came out yesterday ...

Huckabee: I’m sorry?

Kuhn: The NIE report, the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. Have you been briefed or been able to take a look at it —

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn: Have you heard of the finding?

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn then summarized the NIE finding that Iran had stopped work on a clandestine nuclear program four years ago and asked if it “adjusts your view on Iran in any sense."

Kuhn: What is your concern on Iran as of now?

Huckabee: I’ve a serious concern if they were to be able to weaponize nuclear material, and I think we all should, mainly because the statements of Ahmadinejad are certainly not conducive to a peaceful purpose for his having it and the fear that he would in fact weaponize it and use it. (He pauses and thinks) I don’t know where the intelligence is coming from that says they have suspended the program or how credible that is versus the view that they actually are expanding it. … And I’ve heard, the last two weeks, supposed reports that they are accelerating it and it could be having a reactor in a much shorter period of time than originally been thought. (emphasis mine)

That is a pretty big pile of hot, steaming stupid to step in right there. He might as well throw those shoes away...

And it illustrates perfectly what scares me the most about Huckabee. He would most certainly be a patsy for the Zionist Christianist whack-jobs who want to get Armageddon ginned up and their natural evil allies, the right-wing Jewish crazies (Bill "the Bloody" Kristol, Norman Podhoretz) who, so far as I can tell, simply want to kill as many brown Muslim people as they can. (Well, they want other people to do the killin' for 'em, because they are candy-assed chickenhawks with penis issues who are apparently still stinging from getting their asses kicked on the playground in third grade - but you get the idea.)

I, personally, am tickled pink that he fucked up so spectacularly. Because if you like the warmongering and the machinations of the fake-Christianist we have now - you would just LOVE the real deal...

Sunday Surrealism

Oh good grief - take one Sunday to venture forth and hit multiple grocery stores and markets, and the entire world tilts on it's axis while you're out!

A new Des Moines Register poll upset the apple cart for both the Democrats and the Republicans. For the first time, Barack Obama has inched ahead in what is still a statistical dead heat. But the real surprise was on the Republican side, where Huckabee is firmly in the lead at 29% - up from 12% in October.

KKKarl Rove continued his stunning rewrite of history on Sunday. You might recall that the Charlie Rose viewing audience last week watched as his nose visibly grew while he said with a straight face that the administration didn't want the AUMF vote to happen when it did, right before the 2002 midterms. He repeated the lies yesterday, with added fabricated detail! Now his delusions have manifested themselves in a false construct of reality that makes that meanie Daschle the warmonger, not the pure goodness that is George aWol Bush! Daschle stopped laughing long enough on Monday to push back on the Bill Press Show. Worth noting: Even loyal Bushies Fleischer and Card threw his moldering carcass under the bus.

And isn't it time that someone took Senator McCain's hand and led him off the stage, settled him comfortably into a chair and fetched him a nice bowl of pudding? McCain is giving Rove a run for his money in the revisionist history area. For a couple of weeks now he has been peddling the line that the political reconciliation didn't happen because "there are no Thomas Jeffersons in Iraq." In some versions, he asserts that Saddam Hussein killed them all. (No, Senator - reconciliation didn't happen because Iraq is a lawless state with deep ethnic divisions and hatreds, and cataclysmic change in that nation was quite literally akin to turning a bull loose in a china shop.)

Then there is a huge financial mess unfolding in Florida, and the taxpayers may end up adding a new verb to the lexicon: Jebbed.

But the most surreal story of all was the one about big business pushing their agenda on the feckless failure, trying to get all manner of goodies bestowed upon them, their shareholders and their coffers - they want reforms to such frivolous and popular things as the Family and Medical Leave Act which protects workers from termination while they are treated for illnesses, and mandates that employees be given time off when a family grows via birth or adoption. In my career, I was a shift supervisor in healthcare and clinical lab settings. I have both accommodated and used FMLA, and on balance, it's a good law. Neither I nor my crew abused it. It does not need to be "fixed." CAFO's (concentrated animal feeding operations) are looking for exemptions for the waste generated by these huge factory farms.

What makes self-serving push so surreal is that for months, Democrats have been the primary benefactors of the campaign largess of big business.

They don't even try to cover up the craven any more, do they? But...doesn't plutocracy much spell the end for all once-great civilizations?