Friday, May 2, 2008

Definitely Not the Right Answer

Uh...the POINT of this post was to highlight how ridiculous it is to
listen to Chuck Norris advocate SHOOTING illegal immigrants. You, that didn't you?

Chuck Norris, noted for his grasp of public policy and his fascinating pants, weighs in on this whole illegal immigration thing...
Exacerbating the security crisis is the fact that there continues to be a shortage of both Border Patrol and other safety government officials. The Homeland Security Department is still trying to fill last year's 138 vacancies in high-level jobs – an employment crisis that it calls "a critical homeland security issue that demands immediate attention."

Another good reason to throw the incompetent Bush administration out on its ear. Unemployment is skyrocketing, but the US government can't find anyone who wants to work for it. We've shown you how many jobs in the Washington DC area alone are open and that pay more than a $100,000 a year--it's a disgrace.
Unfortunately, illegal transport of immigrants, terrorists and other contraband is only going to worsen, especially with the possible creation of a North American Union (with Canada and Mexico) and the so-called NAFTA Superhighways. Unless of course we stop it! (How is it that we can militarily overthrow a government like Iraq, yet we can't militarily keep illegalities from crossing our borders?) As Mike Huckabee still says, "If the government can't track illegals, then let's outsource the job to UPS or Fed-Ex."

You mean the "NAFTA Superhighway" that actually doesn't exist, except in the imagination of wingnuts everywhere? You mean the war where 20,000 irregular insurgents have a 140,000 man and woman army pinned down--how's that going, by the way? It's not a great analogy to use the fiasco of Iraq to show how good of a job we could do by militarizing our southern border. I seem to recall that the last time someone thought that was a good idea, some Marines shot an 18 year-old goat shepherd and the whole thing had to be discontinued. And you've gotta love the wingnut obsession with outsourcing. That job you thought you were going to retire from? Someone in India, Mexico or the Marianas Islands has it now, and they're working for pennies on the dollar.
If these solutions don't stop the tides of illegal flow in and out of our borders, a friend of mine has a Texas-tough alternative and answer to replace the government's virtual fence failure. In fact, he says, we don't need a security fence at all. All we need to do is to post signs and position manned trucks at key points, just like our government does at Area 51, the top secret military airfield in remote central Nevada, around which there are no fences or walls. There is never a breach or unwanted border crossing there, at least that we hear about! And why? Because the boundary sign reads and is never questioned, "Warning: Use of deadly force authorized."

The last refuge of a pussy is to shoot people when there's a problem. Nothing is solved from shooting people to get what you want. It's not going to stop immigration. It's going to cause a lot of unnecessary death and destruction. In short, you can spot the pussy in the crowd when he draws his gun before there's a need to draw a gun. Yes, Chuck Norris is just a big, uninformed pussy who can't think for himself and probably didn't even bother writing his own column. I think he's trying to revitalize his reinforced crotch pants:

Stick with the cheesy products, Chuck.

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