I'll Deal With the Wingnut...

A poster named "Ymarsakar" said:

Nobody here has a problem with wars being started on lies.

It is arbitrary to consider a war started on lies just because you don't want it to exist. It is truly arbitrary to make up history as you go along, as if you had any real problems with members of your own tribe starting wars based upon lies in WWII, Vietnam, Cold War, Civil War, etc.

THe difference between you and Bush is that Bush can produce something good for mankind at a fraction of the cost of what the Left or Roosevelt in WWII ended up sacrificing.

That kind of economy and conservation of human resources is just something people here are against.

The entire ideology of the Left and the Democrats are a lie, but it is not as if this was ever a bad thing to the members of that tribe.

First of all, thanks for sharing. Second of all, allow me to "disagree" with what you just said in a more public place than a mere comment thread. I hope it's okay that I'm elevating you to the front page--is it OK? If we hurt your feelings by paying attention to you, just let me know. Third of all, wow. Did you ever receive anything remotely resembling an "education" in a "school" with "books?" Jeebus.

1. "It is arbitrary to consider a war started on lies just because you don't want it to exist. It is truly arbitrary to make up history as you go along, as if you had any real problems with members of your own tribe starting wars based upon lies in WWII, Vietnam, Cold War, Civil War, etc."

It's as if Bob Dole blurted out the phrase "Democrat Wars" and went back to looking like he just swallowed a turd. The problem with having a wingnut include "Cold War" and "Civil War" in this discussion is that you can't really get them to understand that Lincoln wiped out the South because they wanted to break apart and form their own country and we fought the Cold War because we thought the Communists needed to be held in check. Conservatives who CAN read history get that. The ones who can't think Lincoln raped Southern virtue and that we fought the Cold War until we could figure out how to abandon the Gold Standard. Nothing really makes sense here. Then there's the problem with Vietnam. Yes, the Gulf of Tonkin was bullshit. Unlike the Iraq War, only two Senators voted against going to war in Vietnam. Not enough voted against Iraq.

Now, I don't get why the wingnut brings up WWII. Does he want to talk about Panzer Divisions? They LOVE that stuff. They LOVE talking about the combat strength of XVII Army after D-Day and how von Whatchamacallit deployed his panzer formations to stave off a complete breakout. (no idea what that means)

What lie was WWII based on? The lie that Pearl Harbor got bombed? The lie that Germany and Italy declared war on us?

2. THe difference between you and Bush is that Bush can produce something good for mankind at a fraction of the cost of what the Left or Roosevelt in WWII ended up sacrificing.

Roosevelt crushed an entire Japanese empire--several million troops, thousands of ships and planes--as a second act. He fed raw material to the Russians, who ground up the majority of the German Army. Then he took back North Africa, most of Italy, and secured the Mediterranean before ordering the invasion of Western Europe. There, he joined our allies and smashed open the gates to central Europe and helped destroy a country that had conquered almost all of Europe and North Africa, fielded hundreds of divisons, tens of thousands of tanks, and came damned close to mass producing jets, scud-like missiles and even a nuclear weapon. ALL of this was accomplished in less than four years, start to finish. (December 1941 to September 1945)

Bush can't crush 25,000 irregular insurgents in a flat, desert country twice the size of Idaho. And he's had over five years.

3. That kind of economy and conservation of human resources is just something people here are against.

The entire ideology of the Left and the Democrats are a lie, but it is not as if this was ever a bad thing to the members of that tribe.

That sounds more like a juvenile taunt than it does an actual opinion. But does it do any good to ask a wingnut if they feel betrayed? Bush had everything going for him and he pissed it away. He failed, utterly, in everything he tried to accomplish. How can you accuse "the left" of being liars when there are almost daily examples of "the right" being populated by people who have said they're for family values and honestly and integrity and they keep getting caught with little boys, hookers, cash, meth and dildoes?

Anyway, thanks for commenting. Hope things are well there in Rawlings, Maryland.

Fatboy Himself

Dork Five's Uncle Jimbo and four of his chins.

Jesus, get that fat boy to an endocrinologist.

No wonder he only did fourteen--twenty would have been impossible when a fat boy has to carry that wide of a load on two knees. Did he get laughed out of Group?

"I sold political advertising for Capital Newspapers in Madison, WI during the 2006 elections."

What's next? Used cars? Insurance? I was almost afraid Uncle Bimbo would be capable of some serious pushback. Apparently, the only thing he's pushing is his fat ass away from an empty buffet table.

UPDATE I - PALE RIDER

Now, to be fair, I should add that I'm not exactly a picture of health and fitness myself. But I don't go around representing myself as a Special Forces dude. I come from the part of the Army where we definitely kept chairs from flying into the air.

Many people have asked me to post a picture--well, this is me, last year, out walking around with my captive bolt gun, but that's really not important right now.



When I was in the Army, they gave me a waiver to keep the pageboy haircut. It's true!

Uncle Jimbo Updates and Wingnut Attempts at Satire

Uh, I realize there's no point--what with the fact that the old fart probably can't find his way out of his own cloud of confused stink--but I thought some of this was hilarious.

Comment on the thread where he started this whole mess:

***ATRENTTION***

GREAT READER KIM Jong IL has gloriously fired 1st salvo at mudder-less, bottom-feeding, left-leaning, bait-sucking, Musskie's of Loser-Viking's TWIN SHITTIES! Operlation JULIA CHILD is huge Suck-cess!!!!

Our Battle Cry (now hear this you Larry Craig bathroom stall toe-tapper's) is

YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED!!!

(PER MY ODORS YOU'RE ALL FLOATER'S!!!)

God Blest all of mine Wunnerful tloops and long live (she dead now) Comrade JULIA CHILD!

That's all folks!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210

Posted by: JihadGene | March 26, 2008 at 10:20 AM

Now, that's a wingnut! But wait--it's supposed to be satire:

JihadGene
Central Valley, California, North Korea
I am da Mac-Daddy of da Orient! Me luv Elvis, The Tree Stooges, The Marxist Brothers, and Gomer's Pyle. I play golf moe betta than Tigers Woods! I'm good-rooking and besides, I'M GOT WOCKETS! JihadGene often channels KIM JONG IL, the Great Reader of the D.P.R.K.(Norf Korea), with the help of "Thunderbird" wine and Prozac. He also channels others as needed/ warranted. The picture is of me on a sabbatical! Thanks you to ERICA'S BLOG for the pic! It's rumored I'm hates Koreans so much, that I married one, over 30 years ago, just to torture her, the rest of my life! I got to go now before she sees me typing this crap! Spell Check is for Wussy's...or is it Wussie's? JihadGene is a proud member of Soldier's Angels and a member of Patriot Guard Riders.

I think we've seen that when the wingnuts try satire, or anything outside of toilet humor and trying to threaten people so long as all their friends are there behind them, it ends up looking like this.

I'M GOT WOCKETS!

Pure, pure genius that little joke. You see, by intentionally misspelling everything to make himself look ignorant of the English language, he's "parodying" the idea that a foreigner who is inept at battling the United States would blog and threaten people in a very ineffective way. You have to operate from the supposition that foreigners are always incompetent and vain when they threaten the United States because the wingnut cannot understand that a 20,000 man insurgency has crippled this country's military because the Bush Administration decided to position them in a meatgrinder with the wrong tactics and the wrong gear. What the parodist is actually doing is channeling a little something-something he stole from the Team America: World Police movie that tried to parody what Kim Jong-Il sounds like when he tries to speak English. It takes a wingnut several months to come up with flat, uninspired satire like this.

I mean, "Julia Child" jokes? Julia frickin' Child? If that's all you've got, please end the unfunny shit and leave the satire to the professionals.

Hey, Uncle Bimbo...

Some crazy old man with a penchant for talking smack posted this comment:

Hate on, but heaven forbid you hear an opposing view point. I engage and discuss things with lefties all the time. Feel free to join us at the Ft. Snelling O-club tonight at 6:30 I would love to film a discussion.

Okay.



I'll come by myself. Think you got enough friends there to back your ass up? I used to drive by Fort Snelling all the time. Born and raised in Minnesota. No problem making the trip. So you'll pardon this old farm boy if he doesn't mind stopping in to see if a snivelling little shit coward like yourself would bother to show up...

Hopefully, Michelle Bachmann will stop in and help you out...

Wingnut of the Week™: August 5-11

This week there is no competition. It has to be Philadelphia Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky, who wrote the column To save America, we need another 9/11.

ONE MONTH from The Anniversary, I'm thinking another 9/11 would help America.

(I think perhaps a double-dose of Thorazine would help Mr. Bykofsky.)

Because the war has been a botch so far, Democrats and Republicans are attacking one another, when they aren't attacking themselves. The dialog of discord echoes across America.

Turn back to 9/11.

Remember the community of outrage and national resolve? America had not been so united since the first Day of Infamy - 12/7/41.

We knew who the enemy was then.

We knew who the enemy was shortly after 9/11.

Because we have mislaid 9/11, we have endless sideshow squabbles about whether the surge is working, if we are "safer" now, whether the FBI should listen in on foreign phone calls, whether cops should detain odd-acting "flying imams," whether those plotting alleged attacks on Fort Dix or Kennedy airport are serious threats or amateur bumblers. We bicker over the trees while the forest is ablaze.

According to this pathetic, desperate foam-flecked wingnut loser, we have turned our back on Iraq because we have forgotten September 11. (I know. He isn't just a wingnut loser, he's a delusional fuckwit. What a twofer!)

Apparently, according to this moron, another heinous attack by Saudis on American shores (he even provides a list of targets for terrorists to consider) would make us forget that Iraq wasn't involved the first time, didn't have WMD's, posed no threat to the United States and has been a fucked-up boondoggle from day one.

So for being exceedingly craven, infinitely petty, and for being willing to sacrifice three thousand of his fellow citizens so the foam-flecked loons who have been wrong about everything so far can feel better about themselves and the destruction they have wrought our country and our Constitution, Stu Bykofsky is my very first (genuine MOPAR) Wingnut of the Week™.