Wingnut Navel-Gazing Wankery

Somehow, we inspired a wingnut to gaze into the abyss and write ALL of this...and I am only showing you a snippet of it--the whole thing is really long and turgid. You get my meaning...

If you believe that humanity should band together to defeat evil, bandits, enemies of humanity, pirates, criminals, and the other riff raff trash, then you would see it as the good when your side is recruiting allies in the heart of enemy territory. If you believe you have right on your side, why wouldn’t you also believe that your enemies are only resisting you because they are ignorant and misguided? Why wouldn’t you believe that fighting them, and thus communicating the reality of your beliefs and cause in a way that diplomacy cannot, would not be beneficial to your long term goals in this war through convincing your former enemies that they should not be your current allies?

The Vet for Peace believes that Iraq is a waste of resources or at least whatever gains developed there, wouldn’t translate to the greater war on terror, as he sees and terms it.

That, however, is an arbitrary conclusion based upon arbitrary philosophical assumptions. For one thing, there are many individuals fighting this war and there will be many more individuals fighting this war in the future, both immediate and long term. The Vet for Peace talks about war prospects as if America doesn’t need allies in Iraq nor does America need governing and fighting experience in the heart of the Persian and Arabian historic empires. The people that will be fighting this war, present and future, and the families that will suffer on the front lines, both American and allied Iraqi or allied forces, deserve more from this Vet for Peace than to be discarded for some individual’s notion of armchair micromanagement and strategizing.

You should not discard your allies simply because you think a different front of the war deserves more attention and resources. You can discard them, like Israel discarded many Palestinians that worked with the Jews, Zionists, and Israeli intel agencies, but in the long term, however, whatever short term resources you may have saved by selling the Arabs out to their Arab enemies, will be more than used up on combating a unified enemy that you have not been able to divide because you have sacrificed all the allies amongst your enemies that could have divided those enemies. All the Arabs, all the Kurds, and all the Shia: sacrificed for one Peace advocate’s notion of streamlined warfare.

Declare victory and bring the troops home. As if you either have the power or the right to decide the fates of millions of Arabs and Americans based upon a whim, with no consideration of what the enemy has done or will do to kill the people that you should have been planning to protect but didn’t because you declared victory. Victory is earned and paid in blood, not in whims and boastful proclamations.

There is no compromise between people that don’t see how Iraq is necessary for America’s long term war prospects and those that believe Iraq must be won for America’s war efforts to be improved greatly.

The only “qualitative” difference between the US being involved in European and Asian matters as opposed to nation building in Iraq is that Iraq requires will, resources, sacrifices, and political deals to be made from the current and future generation of Americans. Whereas the US involvement in Europe and Japan was already paid for by a previous generation of Americans. This makes it very easy to support the involvement in Germany and Japan, when you don’t have to pay the butcher’s cost for it, than supporting Iraq, where resources are being re-directed to Iraq from your own little pet projects.

People love having things that they didn’t pay for. Something more expensive, like Iraq, now that is a different matter. It has different “qualitative” aspects, you see.

The rather interesting bit about the argument “Iraq was pre-emptive” while WWII was “reactive” is that the first forces Americans encountered and fought with when they landed on Africa were the French. Not the Japanese, interestingly enough. Not only that, but America, meaning Roosevelt and Churchill, decided to focus most of the resources on the European theater. Europe, which coincidentally, had not attacked America at Pearl Harbor.

American went to Africa, then Italy, then France after Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese. America went to Iraq after 9/11 was attacked by Al Qaeda using Saudi operatives, while based in Afghanistan. Japan launched a carrier strike at Pearl from Japan. Roosevelt then went to Africa.

Either these people think they can lie to us and have us swallow their lies, or they are truly as ignorant of history as is required of a person to believe in such fallacious strategies and tactics as “declare victory when you want to and then leave”.

To Jimbo, you have to remember that the Kurds don’t mean a damn to the Vet for Peace so he doesn’t really give a Foxtrot Fauk about the Kurds being wiped out by Saddam’s weapons. Whereas your example of the “neighbor” is about neighbors. People you care about because they live near you and which you know personally. He don’t care about the Kurds. You expect him to think of the Kurds and Iraqis as “neighbors”? People have too parochial of an outlook for that kind of cosmopolitan thinking.

Does your brain hurt after that? Mine does.

Here's my response:

I thought we invaded Iraq because they had weapons of mass destruction. They didn't. Why are we still there?

Uncle Bimbo Tries to Blog

Hey, you have to give him points for trying.

Dork Five wingnut Uncle Bimbo writes up a hard-hitting, fact-filled version of a blog post...only it hits the wall and sinks to the floor like a half-assed sack of original thoughts...

Because Uncle Bimbo is fucking incompetent, the first few paras of his post are actually just cut and pasted out of the AP story--then, without warning, his ridiculous, nick-name sprinkled commentary starts up...

Sadr City — the Baghdad nerve center for the powerful Mahdi Army — is suddenly back on edge as the militia leader, Muqtada al-Sadr, and Iraq's government lock in a dangerous confrontation over clout and control among the nation's majority Shiites.

The epicenter of the showdown has been the southern oil hub of Basra, where clashes have claimed dozens of lives this week and al-Sadr's forces face a Friday deadline to surrender.

But a more finely tuned measure of the tensions may be found among the one- and two-story homes and shabby storefronts of Sadr City. As the crisis deepened, The Associated Press toured Sadr City on Wednesday to observe its rapid swing from relative quiet to a return of the Mahdi Army swagger before the U.S. military troop buildup in Baghdad last year.

Uncle Bimbo starts in and lays into the press...grrr! How original!

Here we have the press doing their usual spin trying to take what is actually a positive development and a necessary step toward lasting peace. Mookie and his organization are beaten and all this talk about their resurgence would be better described as the last gasp efforts of a dying power.

Last gasp efforts of a dying power? Wait a minute. Had these guys not stood down, the surge wouldn't have worked, would it? I think the consensus is that getting the Madhi Army to observe a cease fire has been critical for the success of the surge, and that if they started up with the violence, we'd see what we're seeing right now:

Meanwhile, the Mahdi Army, Iraq's largest and deadliest Shi'ite militia, made it through 2007 by refusing to trade body blows with the American military. Petraeus, echoing other American officials, told reporters that "the potential long-term challenge to Iraq is the militia-extremist challenge." To keep the political peace in Iraq, Petraeus and the U.S. military have been careful not to attach the names of the Mahdi Army and its leader Moqtada al Sadr to the threat, hence the use of terms like "the militia-extremist challenge." Sadr controls a sizable political organization as well as his militia.

So I would say that if Petraeus is hesitant to call them out by name, they ain't exactly having a fucking last gasp there, Uncle Bimbo.

Uncle Bimbo's insane rant continues, and he just snips out about a dozen or more paras and starts off with another piece copied right out of the AP story:

Mahdi Army commanders have told the AP that the militia has recently taken delivery of new weapons supplied by backers in Iran. The arsenal, they said, included roadside bombs, anti-aircraft guns and Soviet-designed Grad rockets.

They also said an infusion of cash, also from Iran, helped the militia set up new command centers equipped with Internet-linked computers, fax machines and satellite mobile phones. They have also received global positioning system devices, they said.

The United States has long accused Iran of providing Shiite militias in Iraq with arms and training. Iran denies it.

Now we get some invaluable analysis, courtesy of eagle-eye Uncle Bimbo:

The only positive aspect of this silly enemy talking points memo is that they quote the Mahdi clowns crowing about their Iranian handlers. Anyone who believes that Iran is not the major cause of violence in Iraq, surpassing the defeated al Qaeda, is a naive fool. Now the Iranians have given the mostly leaderless and absolutely clueless Shia militias new toys and they somehow think that will help them against US and Iraqi forces who have spent the past 9 months kicking the living dogshit out of anyone dumb enough to raise a rifle. Terrorists and insurgents died in bunches and these weasels laid up sorry waiting to see what happened.

Well, we don't exactly have any evidence of any of that happening--by getting the Madhi Army to agree to a ceasefire, we essentially STOPPED killing them. We also started paying tens of thousands of Sunni Awakening members to stop attacking us. Except that the promised funds haven't been getting paid--were we "kicking the dogshit" out of the people who were on an agreed-upon cease fire? Getting paid to stand down?

No question--Iran has interest in what's going on in Iraq. No question, Iranian intelligence is all over Iraq, infiltrating the government and helping certain militias. I don't think Uncle Bimbo can quite grasp this one simple fact--al Maliki has travelled to Iran several times; Iran has a diplomatic presence in Iraq and sends diplomats and officials back and forth.

You'd think a deep thinker like Uncle Bimbo would come up with something like, "how come the Iranians and the Iraqis are always exchanging stuff, like diplomats and all that? Huh? Ain't we supposed to be killing everybody? Dang!"

Sadly, we get another nugget of incredible wisdom:

Well chumps, the good guys won and they are more than ready to finish off one last bunch of untrained jackasses running around in track suits firing unaimed rounds at no one in particular. I direct you punks to your new publicist and film distributor for your demise Uncle J and the Dead Tangos Theatre.

Uh huh. So it's over, huh? We can start bringing our guys home? Everything's cool now, huh?

WASHINGTON — Troop levels in Iraq would remain nearly the same through 2008 as they have been through most of the five years of war there, under plans presented to President Bush on Monday by the senior American commander and the top American diplomat in Iraq, senior administration and military officials said.

Mr. Bush announced no final decision on future troop levels after the video briefing by the commander, Gen. David H. Petraeus, and the diplomat, Ambassador Ryan C. Crocker. The briefing took place on the day when the 4,000th American military death of the war was reported and just after the invasion’s fifth anniversary.

But it now appears likely that any decision on major reductions in American troops from Iraq will be left to the next president. That ensures that the question over what comes next will remain in the center of the presidential campaign through Election Day.

Crap!

But Uncle Bimbo said everything was good to go! Aw, nuts. And it's really sad that General Petraeus seems to be doing everything he can to make Uncle Bimbo look like an idiot. Can't someone call over there and tell General Petraeus to stop making everyone's favorite incompetent Dork Five blogger Uncle Bimbo look like he's talking out of his ass?

Thanks for the blogging, there, Uncle Bimbo. You only made yourself look like a complete and total jackass with about three paragraphs or so of original analysis and thought. You gotta work pretty fucking hard to make yourself look THAT bad.

Are you sure you served in the military? Because if you blogged like that in your candy-assed little way, it stands to reason that you probably got your ate-the-hell-up ass chewed out every day for something.

Uncle Jimbo Updates and Wingnut Attempts at Satire

Uh, I realize there's no point--what with the fact that the old fart probably can't find his way out of his own cloud of confused stink--but I thought some of this was hilarious.

Comment on the thread where he started this whole mess:

***ATRENTTION***

GREAT READER KIM Jong IL has gloriously fired 1st salvo at mudder-less, bottom-feeding, left-leaning, bait-sucking, Musskie's of Loser-Viking's TWIN SHITTIES! Operlation JULIA CHILD is huge Suck-cess!!!!

Our Battle Cry (now hear this you Larry Craig bathroom stall toe-tapper's) is

YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED!!!

(PER MY ODORS YOU'RE ALL FLOATER'S!!!)

God Blest all of mine Wunnerful tloops and long live (she dead now) Comrade JULIA CHILD!

That's all folks!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210

Posted by: JihadGene | March 26, 2008 at 10:20 AM

Now, that's a wingnut! But wait--it's supposed to be satire:

JihadGene
Central Valley, California, North Korea
I am da Mac-Daddy of da Orient! Me luv Elvis, The Tree Stooges, The Marxist Brothers, and Gomer's Pyle. I play golf moe betta than Tigers Woods! I'm good-rooking and besides, I'M GOT WOCKETS! JihadGene often channels KIM JONG IL, the Great Reader of the D.P.R.K.(Norf Korea), with the help of "Thunderbird" wine and Prozac. He also channels others as needed/ warranted. The picture is of me on a sabbatical! Thanks you to ERICA'S BLOG for the pic! It's rumored I'm hates Koreans so much, that I married one, over 30 years ago, just to torture her, the rest of my life! I got to go now before she sees me typing this crap! Spell Check is for Wussy's...or is it Wussie's? JihadGene is a proud member of Soldier's Angels and a member of Patriot Guard Riders.

I think we've seen that when the wingnuts try satire, or anything outside of toilet humor and trying to threaten people so long as all their friends are there behind them, it ends up looking like this.

I'M GOT WOCKETS!

Pure, pure genius that little joke. You see, by intentionally misspelling everything to make himself look ignorant of the English language, he's "parodying" the idea that a foreigner who is inept at battling the United States would blog and threaten people in a very ineffective way. You have to operate from the supposition that foreigners are always incompetent and vain when they threaten the United States because the wingnut cannot understand that a 20,000 man insurgency has crippled this country's military because the Bush Administration decided to position them in a meatgrinder with the wrong tactics and the wrong gear. What the parodist is actually doing is channeling a little something-something he stole from the Team America: World Police movie that tried to parody what Kim Jong-Il sounds like when he tries to speak English. It takes a wingnut several months to come up with flat, uninspired satire like this.

I mean, "Julia Child" jokes? Julia frickin' Child? If that's all you've got, please end the unfunny shit and leave the satire to the professionals.

Hey, Uncle Bimbo...

Some crazy old man with a penchant for talking smack posted this comment:

Hate on, but heaven forbid you hear an opposing view point. I engage and discuss things with lefties all the time. Feel free to join us at the Ft. Snelling O-club tonight at 6:30 I would love to film a discussion.

Okay.



I'll come by myself. Think you got enough friends there to back your ass up? I used to drive by Fort Snelling all the time. Born and raised in Minnesota. No problem making the trip. So you'll pardon this old farm boy if he doesn't mind stopping in to see if a snivelling little shit coward like yourself would bother to show up...

Hopefully, Michelle Bachmann will stop in and help you out...