Jesus, get that fat boy to an endocrinologist.
No wonder he only did fourteen--twenty would have been impossible when a fat boy has to carry that wide of a load on two knees. Did he get laughed out of Group?
"I sold political advertising for Capital Newspapers in Madison, WI during the 2006 elections."
What's next? Used cars? Insurance? I was almost afraid Uncle Bimbo would be capable of some serious pushback. Apparently, the only thing he's pushing is his fat ass away from an empty buffet table.
UPDATE I - PALE RIDER
Now, to be fair, I should add that I'm not exactly a picture of health and fitness myself. But I don't go around representing myself as a Special Forces dude. I come from the part of the Army where we definitely kept chairs from flying into the air.
Many people have asked me to post a picture--well, this is me, last year, out walking around with my captive bolt gun, but that's really not important right now.
When I was in the Army, they gave me a waiver to keep the pageboy haircut. It's true!