Nora Ephron, would you just SHUT the F#%! Up?

Okay, what's wrong with me? I'm sure Nora Ephron is a perfectly nice woman. I'm not about saying bad things about people. I'm not into criticizing people...

[I couldn't keep going with that thought--I just fell of my chair laughing in hysterics at how wildly ridiculous and hypocritical that last bit was of me to say.]

I read this earlier tonight and couldn't figure out what to say at first:

It's hard to be a Democrat, don't you think? There's no alternative, of course, but it's hard. Someone asked me the other day to write something about why I was a Democrat, and I had no trouble making a list of 10 reasons. Of course, five of those reasons were the Supreme Court, and the other five were more or less historical -- reasons like FDR, which is not meant to mean Franklin Delano Roosevelt exactly but some fantasy blob of Democratic values that are a distant racial memory.

But it's hard. It's especially hard to remember that the real enemies are the Republicans, when the Democrats tend to break your heart and the Republicans are just the boys you'd never go out with anyway.

It's hard when you watch a debate and decide that in the end you're probably going to throw your vote away in the primary and vote for someone who doesn't have a chance, like Dennis Kucinich. I mean, look at them, look at the front runners: Hillary Clinton, who can't help being Hillary Clinton; Barack Obama, who was a disappointment from the beginning and whose new-found attack mode is as dispiriting as his low energy level used to be; John Edwards, whom I am afraid I will never be able to think of again (after this week's Peggy Noonan column in the Wall Street Journal) as anything but a desperate furry little woodland animal.

First of all, it's not "hard" to be a Democrat. It's as easy as can be. YOU might have a personal crisis of conviction, but I don't.

If you don't like what the Democrats who currently hold office are doing, then, and I say this collectively to the larger population, get off your dead ass and participate in the primary process. Remember what that's supposed to be about? It's supposed to be about finding the best candidate to run for office. It's not supposed to be about putting another crown on the head of someone who you have to hold your nose and give five bucks to. It's about finding better Democrats.

So instead of whining, find better Democrats.

Nora thinks FDR is some "distant racial memory?" What does that even mean? No, FDR is with us today in the form of Social Security. Every time someone who is old has money to buy food, think of FDR. There's nothing distant to me about FDR, and I'm not even forty yet.

Nora thinks that Republicans are the boys she wouldn't go out with? Uh, I don't know how to put this, but the Republicans are the boys who torture animals, solicit sex in public restrooms, stick dildos up their asses, molest children and moan about the feel of a diaper on their skin while defecating on prostitutes.

Nora thinks that Peggy Noonan has "defined" John Edwards?

I'm sorry, but if you claim to be a Democrat, and if Peggy Noonan--Peggy Noonan!--writes something on the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal that makes you think of a Democrat as a "furry woodland creature," you're an idiot. You are a grade-a, mouth breathing, short bus riding idiot of massive proportions.

Instead of lamenting what Democrats have or haven't done, sort out your personal problems in a more appropriate forum for discussion. Ever heard of the term "buzzkill?" Because I was pretty happy to see that the Democrats found a way to override a Presidential veto last week. I'm happy they were able to do that. They have a lot of things they need to do.

But, man--what a buzzkill.

Minnesota Judge Upholds Larry Craig's Guilty Plea

Hennepin County (MN) Judge Charles Porter has upheld the guilty plea entered by Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig. In a 27-page order, Porter called Craig’s August guilty plea “accurate, voluntary, and intelligent,” adding that “the conviction is supported by the evidence.”

You remember Craig. He is the latest Republican pervert to be arrested in a public mens room for cruising for anonymous sex.

First, Craig tried to make it all go away by quietly pleading guilty and handling it through the mail. Once his little peccadillo found out, he held a press conference indicating he would resign his seat at the end of September. Then he reneged, stating that he was going to appeal his guilty plea, he was innocent, and he would delay his resignation and departure until the Judge issued his decision, but a favorable ruling in Minnesota was the only thing that would keep him from resigning.

Steve Benen says we should hold off on sending the movers to clean out his office.

So, Craig has no choice but to resign? Not so fast. As of a couple of weeks ago, the senator’s office said a favorable ruling in Minnesota was the only thing that would keep Craig from resigning. Now, the senator may decide that a misdemeanor charge on his record isn’t the end of the world, and he might just stick around anyway.

On MSNBC last week, Craig lawyer Stanley Brand suggested the senator may disregard the outcome of his court request altogether. Chris Matthews asked whether Craig would try to “hang on” until the end of his term. Brand replied, “[I] think that’s conceivable, especially if he gets some type of relief in Minnesota. But I don’t think it depends on that.”

In other words, today is a setback for the Idaho Republican, but it’s likely the story isn’t over yet.

I say...

Good on ya, Larry! You stand your ground! You fight the good fight and drag this out for as long as possible! Keep it, and GOP hypocrisy, in the news. Make sure that Jane and Joe Family Values Voter are reminded every single day when they open their paper or turn on the news that you are hanging in there and fighting for your right to tap that foot and cruise for a hookup. Keep shining the light on your personal and political cowardice and hypocrisy.

I thank you, and the DNC thanks you.

It was so obvious...

I can't believe that it didn't come to me before!

Those high-powered Pentagon war planners had a perfectly legitimate reason for their high-dollar liaisons with call-girls...

They were getting haircuts!!!

(The obvious joke here is that they were getting a trim with their trim, but as this is a family-friendly blog...)