Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Delusionary Rants From Red State

Did you know Obama's middle name is Hussein? I didn't know that until Erick from Red State told me that.

Here's more of his delusionary rant, updated with polite comments:

God Bless Texas
By Erick
“The Democrats, God bless 'em, are about to hand us the prototypical liberal boogeyman as their nominee.”A week from tomorrow, Texas will either prolong the bloody battle for the Democratic nomination or give the nomination to a self-admitted former cokehead. Either way, we should thank Texas.

George W Bush is running to be the Democratic nominee? And you think that we're not going to talk about Iraq, torture, the politicization of the Justice Department, Brownie, Katrina, Scooter, Shooter, or the crappy economy? You think we're not going to show people Walter Reed, abandoned Veterans, and stories about troops who have been treated like cattle when they went to get treated for PTSD and for severe physical injuries? You think we're not going to show people defective body armor and chewed up Humvees and ask why the Marines had to beg for years and go without Mine Resistant Vehicles? You think we're not going to remind people that gas is over three bucks a gallon? You think we're not going to explain in detail the politics of fear and the corruption of the Bush Administration? You think the fact that Obama is going to have several hundred million dollars to run with while McCain could be held to spending 6 million dollars over the next six months means what, exactly? You think we're a liberal bogeyman--dude, your party is the real bogeyman. How many losing issues do you want us to HANG you with?
Let's presume, if we will, that Texas goes for Barack Hussein Obama, a name that is not quite poll tested and mother approved. That presumption is not a safe one because even now the forces of Clinton are going into hispanic communities and churches to remind them that hispanics would be minority number one in a Clinton administration and minority number three in an Obama administration, behind blacks and everybody else. With thirty percent of the voting strength in the Texas Democratic Primary, Hispanics could help Hillary pull it off.

Don't tell mama I'm for Obama, and given the demographic shifts in this country, I'd say Obama's name is "mother approved." His name is no weirder than Napoleon Dynamite, P Diddy and He Hate Me, and people love weird names.

And it's funny that Erick mentions Hispanics--given the insane, vitriolic attacks of the last two years, the Republican Party is never going to win the Hispanic vote. Ever. I mean, maybe in 80 years. And even then, there'll be enough anchor babies around to persuade people not to vote Republican. Oh, and they're going in Churches because, well, the Republicans have kinda pissed off evangelicals, too. Something about the Republican establishment being so far up Guiliani's rear end they got a little of that Lindsey Graham type poisoning Rush was talking about.

In any event, I presume Obama will win. And we should delight in his victory. Hillary has been too timid to throw a punch. We will not be.
We will remind people that Obama admitted using cocaine. While the left loves to accuse George Bush of doing the same, one of these two men wrote a book and admitted he did so. And that man's name is not Bush.

Uh huh. Run with that. See what it gets you. We'll remind people that McCain brought over 70 lobbyists in to run his campaign, abandoned his first wife after she was crippled, committed adultery with an heiress who financed his political career, and comes from a state that has more indicted and corrupt politicians than, well, Chicago, if you want to be honest about it. We'll run every quote from Bush in 2000 attacking McCain's character. We'll find all of those nice quotes from John McCain that have him screaming "FUCK YOU" at people in the pristine setting of the US Congress like he's a crack whore wronged in a rough session of bartering. We'll run the "100 years in Iraq" quote every day, in every media market, on every channel. Then we'll just do what we did in 1996 and show people video of McCain stumbling around, falling off stages and looking confused and tired. If all you can come up with is something Obama admitted to in his own book, I think you're screwed. The last time someone tried to hang a Democrat with something that they wrote in a book, we were treated to a literary discussion about the merits of James Webb's fiction, and George Allen can attest to how that turned out for him.

We will point out that when Obama was in the Illinois Senate he voted to allow porn shops to open within 1,000 feet of churches and elementary schools.

Ha ha ha ha! A thousand feet? Sounds like a zoning dispute. You're actually going to try to win a national election over a local zoning dispute? Pardon me while my eyes glaze over from boredom.

Likewise, Obama voted against trying high school students as adults if they committed gun crimes on school grounds — I'm sure the folks in Colorado will love that vote.

I think the people can understand a compassionate vote that doesn't destroy the lives of children before they're adults, and a gun crime doesn't mean that they've killed someone. So if a kid brings a gun to school, you want to have them locked up in an adult prison? What if it's a first offense. What if it's a kid who's scared and being bullied. Better yet--how about you let a judge decide?

Obama says he only wants gun owners to be able to use their guns for sport and he has a record to prove it. Obama supported allowing criminals to sue their victims if their victims shot them.

I think you're tied up in knots on that one. It doesn't pass the common sense test of who can and who can't sue someone. It sounds like one of those manufactured scenarios used to trip up simple pieces of legislation.

Crucially, for those pro-life voters who right now seem to be fawning over Obama, we'll remind them that he is to the left of Hillary on abortion — going so far as to oppose the Born Alive Infant Protection Act.

Pro-life voters who vote for the Democrat know what they're getting. I don't think you're going to preach to the choir on that one and achieve anything. Either they vote for the Democrat or they don't, and one vote on one piece of legislation isn't going to make a difference.

For years the Democrats have tried to get away from the anti-gun, big government, high tax, abortion on demand liberal label. They've gone so far as to rebrand themselves progressive. Obama champions the failed schemes of the last one hundred years, repeatedly rejected by the voters, to fix what he claims are the failed policies of the last eight years. The Democrats, God bless 'em, are about to hand us the prototypical liberal boogeyman as their nominee.

What failed schemes? Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and fiscal responsibility? Raising taxes on the rich? Helping middle class families send their kids to school? Trying to phase in health insurance coverage for millions of Americans that isn't mandatory? Diplomacy? Common sense approaches to solving problems? Reaching across the aisle to work with Republicans, like Dick Lugar, on nuclear non-proliferation? Moving into a post-partisan era? Abandoning the politics of fear? Pick one, and let me know what you're rambling about.

By the time it's all over, the only defense Obama is going to have is to resort to the standard liberal playbook and scream racism when anyone dares point out his voting record. And the public we have not heard from year, the public that swings elections but generally does not engage in primaries, are going to come running to John McCain begging him to save the nation from the liberal anti-gun former cokehead whose feminist wife hates America.

No, they're not. What they're doing now--and what they'll do all through the summer and fall, is hear someone speak plainly about America. They'll listen to what this man says and make up their own minds. Fewer and fewer Americans are buying the rhetoric that says we can't do this, can't do that, we have to be afraid in our homes, we have to have endless war and permanent poverty.

America has rejected liberalism. Obama thinks he can repackage it in new rhetoric and move it to the left of Hillary. He cannot. I relish the fight against the man who has no problem with porn shops across the street from elementary schools and terrorist leaders in the White House. That'll go over real well.

Dude, in case you haven't figured it out--Americans openly and honestly like porn. Jay Leno has the better looking porn stars appear on his show and do skits. They're spending more on it than any time in our history. We live in a world where a person can make a stock trade on their phone, check the weather in Hong Kong, listen to a Norwegian death metal band play live in Narvik, snark at your lame site on a comment thread, give a shout out to a friend on FaceBook, and watch three hourglass shaped women douse themselves with soy sauce and mount a confused midget. Show me a zoning law that can deal with that!

The stigma you're trying to exploit might have had some play in 1978, but today? With the Internet, the Hotel Room and video games? Try updating yourself a little on your outdated ideas of what people think is right and wrong. You ask a kid what's more wrong--naked people fucking or naked people being tortured and I think you're going to be surprised at how far on the wrong side of THAT issue the Republicans really are. I mean, you're all for the naked Abu Ghraib pyramid, but I can't go buy a DVD of consenting adults having a much better looking heterosexual version of the naked pyramid? And you conservatives are making tons of money off of it. There's more slap and tease on Fox than there is on HBO half the time and there are quite a few companies with conservative leanings that are raking in the cash off porn in hotel rooms. That's probably why the Justice Department hasn't done a Meese Commission Report during the Bush Administration--too many Republicans would be explaining their own purchasing habits. Obligatory references to Mark Foley, David Vitter and Larry Craig, notwithstanding.

America doesn't reject liberalism or conservatism permanently; the American people go through cycles where they adapt and change different aspects of each philosophy. Look at the trends in American politics from 1900 to 1950--everything from complete dominance by liberals, rejection of conservatism, then back again. The cyclic nature of American preferences for solving problems and choosing who leads the country simply means you guys get to play the part of Herbert Hoover for a while, and thankfully, the American people have shown that they loved Hoover a hell of a lot more than they like Bush.

The only thing better than an Obama candidacy is a Hillary one after a bloody primary fight. As a result, God bless Texas.

You mean the state that will probably throw John Cornyn out of office? The state that is trending more Democrat, now that they've had a taste of Tom DeLay and corruption? Texas gets bluer by the day, thanks to the decision of the Republican Party to demonize Hispanics. Good luck, Erick. I think you and your cheesy little website are going to be an afterthought before too long. How's the technical upgrade going?

Need some cash?

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