Sunday, April 13, 2008

Steve Benen does not write this blog

I must quash those rumors right now. Tom Burka has blown the lid off the liberal blogosphere, exposing the entire left side as the machinations of one man, Steve Benen, the Energizer Bunny of blogtopia™ (y!sctp!)
Steve Benen, the liberal blogger who runs The Carpetbagger Report, has recently been discovered to be the sole author of almost every liberal blog dealing with U.S. politics on the internet, blog readers recently discovered.

At first Benen was writing The Carpetbagger Report and allegedly guest blogging on sites such as TalkingPointsMemo, the Washington Monthly's blog, Political Animal, and Crooks and Liars. However, a visitor to TalkingPointsMemo, who saw a video of the alleged author and blog founder "Josh Marshall," immediately recognized him to be actor Marshall Mappschteen, with whom he had performed "Guys and Dolls" in college. A phone call to Mappschteen resulted in revelations that eventually uncovered Benen as the author of more than 260 liberal blogs. Subsequent investigation revealed that popular "bloggers" Atrios and Political Animal's Kevin Drum are actually fellow league bowlers who Benen recruited to be fictitious front men.

The revelations caused Salon to put an end to their Blog Report, a supposed roundup of items of interest on liberal and conservative political blogs compiled by Benen. "All the liberal blogs were him," said "Skippy", one of the few liberal bloggers who appears to really exist. "He was just linking to himself all over the place. It was unsanitary."

Benen admitted that he had orchestrated and created the liberal blogosphere in order to create the impression that more people have liberal values than actually do. "I wanted the liberal presence on the web -- and in the U.S. -- to appear to be very, very big, much larger than it actually is," admitted Benen, who welcomed the end of his deception as a chance to rest his hands. "I've been suffering from carpal tunnel something awful," he said.

So now you know the deep dark secret of Left Blogsylvania, but I must clarify that Pale Rider and I are not figments of Benen's prolific creative forces. We can, however, be accurately characterized as "minions" of the hyper-producive Mr. Benen.

It would be fair to question Mr. Burka's bona fides, however - because every leftie blogger that really exists knows that skippy is not capitalized.....just sayin'.....


Full disclosure: I actually am Steve Benen.

Sorry for the confusion.

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