Thursday, December 20, 2007

Have I mentioned lately that I really HATE aWol?

Warning! Hormonal rant ahead!

Skip this post if you are easily offended, or think aWol Bush has any redeeming qualities at all!

Listening to George Bush talk about how congress has wasted time and the taxpayers money takes me back to high school. Some of us remember the asshole upperclassmen who would take Freshmen girls out on Friday nights after the football game, give them what was likely their first beer, take them parking out in the country, tell them "fuck or walk" (now we call that date rape) - then spend Monday telling all their buddies what little sluts their victims were.

This particular quip from the drooling fucktard during his press conference today made me wish I believed in and knew something about the dark arts, that I might cast an evil spell: ''It's an antagonistic world from some people's point of view,'' the president said. ''I try to make it less that way and to focus on high priorities.'' I know that there is no God, because the motherfucker didn't burst into flames right there on the spot when those words tumbled from his fetid maw.

In spite of his ridiculous assertion that he tried to be anti-antagonistic (guffaw/spit-take/snort - and btw, I'm sorry, but I just can not make myself type a sentence that implies that piece of shit who should get ass cancer and die is protagonistic) he went on to launch into a laundry list of things that are the fault of the Democrats in Congress:

He pissed and moaned about Congress sending him an omnibus spending bill instead of individual spending bills. ''When Congress wastes so much time and leaves its work to the final days before Christmas, it is not a responsible way to run this government.'' Last year, the exiting Republicans didn't pass a budget at all, instead leaving the entire Government to be run on continuing resolutions all year, and Resident Evil™ didn't whine like a little bitch. But hey - IOKIYAR.

He also sniveled that congress hadn't passed his domestic spying wet-dream that would embarrass Big Brother himself and give retroactive immunity to the big telecoms who were all too eager to help him spy on you and me.

He refused to talk about the CIA destroying the tapes that we can only presume would have shown the torture of terrorism suspects in CIA custody. He insists he knew nothing (finally the fuckwit said something that I could agree with!) about the destruction of the tapes before hand, even though four White House lawyers were involved in the decision.

He tread carefully when asked about Time Magazine's selection of Vladimir Putin as their Person of the Year for 2007. ''I presume they put him on there because he was a consequential leader,'' Bush said. ''And the fundamental question is, consequential to what end? What will the country look like 10 years from now? My hope, of course, is that Russia is a country that understands there needs to be checks and balances.'' (Funny - America doesn't look anything like it did seven years ago.)

He did a bit of hand-wringing about the waning support for the mission in Afghanistan among America's NATO allies. ''My biggest concern is that people say, 'Well, we're kind of tired of Afghanistan and, therefore, we think we're going to leave,''' Bush said. (I keep forgetting that it was our allies that took their eye off the ball to go charging into Iraq half-cocked. I gotta get that straight - it'll be my New Years Resolution. I promise...)

He ended on a humorous note (and we know what a comedic talent he is, cracking up absolutely everyone looking for WMD's under his desk) by predicting a Republican resurgence and White House victory next year, in spite of the fact that the Republican slate would lose in a landslide to "None of the Above."

I didn't know that Rahm Emanuel had it in him to be a pussified wimp, but by golly, he sure does. ''President Bush's veto pen prevented the kind of significant change our country needs,'' Emanuel pouted. And at that point I started yelling at my computer screen. "You feckless, complicit fuckers should have made him veto everything! Page after page after page!" And I continued to rant about wanting Democrats who know how to put a knee to his groin, kick him in the throat when he goes over, and keep kicking him once he is on the ground until he is spitting teeth.

But that's just me, and I am probably PMSin' real hard right now, because I really, really want my pound of flesh today - and not just that - after I collect that pound of flesh, I want to dump a box of salt in the wound.

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