Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Nightowl Newswrap

Protesters interrupted a speech by KKKarl Rove last night at George Washington University. The protesters unfurled a banner that read, in large letters WAR CRIMINAL. As they were escorted out of the auditorium, the charming folks reptilian-brained lunatics who support Rovian, win-at-all-costs tactics on behalf of the GOP chanted "Tase them! Tase them!"

Starting his farewell tour As despised abroad as he is at home, aWol kicks off his final world tour with an appearance at the NATO summit in Bucharest on Tuesday. He will meet with Putin once more and has Germany standing in the way of pushing further NATO expansion that would serve no purpose beyond taunting Russia and possibly destroying the alliance in the future with conflicts between member states. One Cyprus is plenty, thanks.

The stupidest argument ever has been taken out back and a couple of rounds have been put behind it's right ear. A pair of lawyers, one Democrat and one Republican, have concluded that McCain is a "natural born" citizen of the United States. Some fringe-right, batshit insane halfwits, pissed off that McCain came out on top, challenged his right to run for president because he was not bornin the United States. He was born at the hospital at Coco Solo in the Panama Canal Zone while his father was billeted there. Can you even believe the gall of making that ludicrous argument? Especially when you consider that the PCZ was a U.S. territory at that time. On behalf of all brats everywhere, can I just invite those idiots to kiss my ass?

"Okay, the cops are gone, break out the beer" Cops in Wausau, Wisconsin thought they were busting an underage drinking party. Cars lined the street, a house full of kids, a keg and a drinking game in the living room...they busted out the breathalyzers and made dozens of kids blow. Alas, the cops walked away empty handed - the kids were drinking root beer.

James Carville, shut your fetid maw, you odious, poisonous toad! What the hell have you done for us lately, anyway? I recall Howard Dean orchestrating the 2006 victories. It was his 50 State Strategy that brought back our thin majorities, and it will be that 50 State Strategy that increases those margins in November. But I remember Carville in November 2006 wanting to replace Howard Dean with Harold Ford, Jr. The day he made that suggestion, he became a dead man in my eyes. I resurrected him that I might burn him at the stake when on Good Friday he called Governor Bill Richardson a Judas for his Obama endorsement. Carville, take your "disloyal" BS, turn it sideways, and insert it someplace painful. It isn't about loyalty to any individual, or to the Clintons, you jackass. It is about loyalty to this nation. That he doesn't get that pretty much crystallizes why he is not merely no longer taken seriously, but is openly mocked, scorned and ridiculed by a whole lot of Democrats, me included.

The Opposition in Zimbabwe is claiming it was a thumpin' The Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) is claiming that Mugabe has lost in a landslide. The MDC defied a government issued order that results not be released yet because the entire world expects Mugabe's goons to try to steal it. Why else would the government have ordered 9 million ballots be printed, and the nation onoy has 5.9 million eligible voters.

The annual Arab Summit opened today with half the regions leaders boycotting the proceedings. However, one leader we haven't seen for a while heaped scorn on the leaders of the region for failing to take any sort of actions to prevent the United States from attacking Iraq - the Qaddafi diatribe is a tradition at the annual summit, and this rant was a pretty good one - not his finest work, but a damned good throw none the less. A solid eight on a scale of ten.

Just when you thought the government couldn't screw over Katrina victims any more than they already have This really pisses me off - the government is shopping around for bids from collection agencies to recoup millions of dollars that Katrina victims were overpaid by a civilian contractor that dispensed federal grant dollars to storm victims. Those folks have suffered enough! It is time for accountability! When the government hires civilian contractors to dispense federal grant money instead of handling it "in house" like they used to, before some ideological idiots decided we needed to drown our government in a bathtub - anyway, when a company screws up and misallocates funds, overpaying storm victims who lost everything, go after the company for restitution, not the storm victims. At least not those who acted in good faith and didn't misrepresent themselves! Aren't such companies bonded and insured? We have to start demanding appropriate accountability, then maybe we can take some concrete steps to remedying this incompetence problem that is dragging us down as a nation. And by the way - why is the government contracting for collection agents? They have at their disposal literally thousands of federal employees who are in the business of collecting debts owed the government. They work for the IRS.

Heartbreaking Almost forty relief agencies announced last week that Somalia is too dangerous for their personnel, and they are unable to deliver humanitarian assistance to the millions of Somalis in need. They cited "a lack of respect for international humanitarian law by all parties to the conflict" as a key reason that they are withdrawing. "The crisis engulfing Somalia has deteriorated dramatically, while access to people in need continues to decrease," said a statement signed by organizations including World Vision, Oxfam International and Cooperative Assistance for Relief Everywhere, among others. And today, ten people died and many others were wounded as Ethiopian forces, backing Somalia's government, shelled the main marketplace in Mogadishu. The market was shelled in retaliation for a mortar attack against the presidential palace.

Another candidate "misspeaks" At a speech in Selma Alabama, Barack Obama claimed he owed his very existence to the Kennedy family. But Obama's Camelot connection, it turns out, isn't. Turns out the Kennedy's didn't pay for that airlift that brought those Kenyan students to the US to study after all. Now, I don't care. I have quite a bit of formal education in neurosciences and psychology, and I know that memory isn't always all that accurate. I think a lot of accusations get tossed around that ascribe deliberate dishonesty when all most of the people who are getting slammed are guilty of is of being human.

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